It’s 7:23 in the morning.
I step out onto the porch to soak in the view that I’ve always called home: the misty mountains blue. There’s a majestic energy that is visceral when I take a step outside. It’s a full body experience: the gentle breeze caresses my skin; the birdsong echoes in the distance; the mist hovers above the trees and beyond the mountains; the air is so sweet and earthy I can almost taste it. The chatter of my mind comes to a hush as my spirit awakens to the beauty around me.
I find myself searching for this feeling when I’m not at my home in Vermont to experience it. But I ask myself: is this feeling outside of me? Or, perhaps, the beauty and sacredness of the earth, sky, and stars connects me with the intrinsic stillness my soul yearns for?
I close my eyes and take a few long, deep breaths. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be; a glimpse of heaven here on earth. My soul’s thirst for stillness is quenched. My mind’s longing for rest settles. My heart opens with gratitude.
No picture can fully capture the essence of this view: the colors, the depth, the smells, the energy. It must be felt. I hug these moments close to my heart to come back to when I feel overwhelmed by life.
Lately I’ve been struggling with feelings of guilt because my energy cannot meet the demands of my life: at work, in my interpersonal relationships, in my own creative endeavors. I feel out of balance and out of sync from the voice in my soul. I know that stillness and creativity are always the answer to these existential ponderings. I know I need to slow down, but how? Why do I put so much pressure on myself? Why does breathing feel like something I have to remind myself of? Why does life feel so demanding? What am I doing wrong?
Maybe that’s just it, though: maybe I’m depriving myself of interior quiet and stillness by not honoring my energy needs. Maybe only when I honor my energy I’ll be able to get everything done because I will prioritize what truly needs to get done, and let go of the expectations and unnecessary demands I put on myself.
Perhaps you can relate. If so, this is your permission slip to take a moment to breathe. And allow that breath to create space in you, and in your life.
Serenity and love,
Colleen