Alas, my favorite season is here. I find myself in a park sitting on the ground with my back against a large, sturdy tree. One of my favorite places to be - completely held by the earth. I watch the trees wave to one another up in the sky, as the cool, fresh wind blows amongst them.
Swaying. Dancing. Being.
I pull out a piece of paper, and without effort, these words fall out of my being:
Autumn Musings
I am content as a leaf laying along the bed of the earth.
I let go of control and surrender to the contrast and ever-changing hues of color.
I admire the beauty of imperfection, the loveliness and intricacies of each unique autumn leaf.
I feel the cool, fresh air envelop me, wrapping around my skin like a hug from Mother Nature herself.
Impermanence is the blessed reminder that calls us deeper into presence, rootedness.
Letting go of perfection is the entryway to peace.
Endings and beginnings are but one and the same.
Earth is our Mother, our Giver, our Teacher, our Healer. She is one with us. We are one with her.
To pay reverence to the earth is to honor the divinity of the creator and to see the divinity in all.
Nature is the revelation of the creator, of the divine. You are an expression of the Divine Itself.
There is beauty in the not knowing.
The Sacred In-between is where most of life - most of our growth - takes place. Honor the Sacred In-between. There is Wisdom in uncertainty.
What more is there to know in this moment than to recognize the divinity within you - in all your unique hues and color - and to cherish this precious breath?
Is your breath not the spirit of the divine within you?
You are an autumn leaf. An expression of the Divine.
In this season, what is the spirit calling you deeper toward?
The Gift of Grief
There is no ache quite as poignant as grief.
It opens and expands the heart to new depths and capacities. Deeper than one could imagine is possible.
It’s a regular Tuesday evening and I’m out in the garden. I look up to the sky: I admire the pink sunset hues outlining the clouds - the vast canvas of the universe.
Emotion wells up in my being in this moment of solitude, where the only sounds around me are flowing trees and I feel the tender, poignant peace and pain of impermanance. The loss of a parent is irreversible. The reality of grief can feel insurmountable. But grief, nonetheless, is holy, precious, sacred. My heart is both heavy and surrendered.
I open my journal and write.
8/19/20215
The grief is exhausting today. I’ve cried 3 times and I feel wiped. I’d hoped that by crying and honoring the emotions, I’d feel relief and lighter. But grief cannot be rushed. To rush its sacred process would be a dishonor to the love that once filled what is now a piercing, aching void. So I stay here, in the ache and feel the weight of sadness run down my arms and legs like sinking sand.
The loss of a parent is all encompassing: it’s childhood, it’s memories, it’s formative, it’s new depths of emotion. It’s oceanic. The memories and emotion come crashing hard, sometimes it feels out of nowhere…and while the intensity eventually dissipates…it’s never fully gone. The grief is a part of me now.
In this quiet, tender surrender, I realize: this ache, this longing, is the imprint of love. I wouldn’t ever want to let it go.
I long to hear his fingertips dance across the piano on an early Sunday morning. I see dad smile, knowing I still feel his presence when I hear a beautiful piano piece. His music still lives in me, like a rhythmic heartbeat. A connection that will forever keep him close. The beautiful truth is that the imprint of love can be drawn close through remembering. Through memories. Through the birds soaring in the sky. Or the quiet, gentle sway of trees in the wind. Through music. Through everything he loved - that is now mine to cherish.
Perhaps impermanence is what makes life so beautiful, because through its fragile uncertainty we experience what’s most poignant in life: the chance to feel it all. It is both achey and full of hope. It’s the sunrise and the sunset. The inhale and exhale.
Impermanence is the poignancy of life.
The poignancy of a moment.
The poignancy of love.
It’s the fact that nothing remains the same which is what makes everything matter.
It reminds us to love now. To show up. To receive. To savor. All while the moment lasts. To feel, live and love deeper - the gift of a lifetime. This is what life is about.
The loss is not something we are ever meant to fully heal from. The scar tissue reminds us of the love we carried, the love that still remains inside, and the importance of loving those we have now. Life is too precious not to. Somehow, in this way, grief becomes a gateway to hope and to living more deeply. It’s the surrender to life’s depth and richness and poignancy. This is the impermanence that breeds peace, despite the ache and pain.
It is beautiful, tender, and raw all at once. It’s what gives life so much meaning. While the memories and moments do not last forever, they live on in the sanctuary of the heart. In this way, impermanence is a sacred invitation to live.
I close my journal and thank the grief for visiting me. A peace that transcends the pain settles inside me. I surrender softly to the impermanence of life and breathe a little deeper.
Almost one month later: 9/14/2025
Dear dad,
One year ago today you took your last breath. Yet by a grace that is deeper than I’ve ever known, I feel closer to you than ever before.
Thank you for the gift of grief - the gift of remembering you and holding you close in my heart. Our final weeks together were some of the most tender, poignant and healing moments of my life - a love that is forever deepened. I will hold that close to my heart for the rest of my life.
Your zest and spark for life lives on in me and I will do everything I can to live the life you’d want me to. I know you are watching over me, guiding me, every step of the way.
I love you. I miss you. May you radiate in the stars until we meet again.
Lessons in Embodiment
Ciao from Firenze! Ok, admittedly, I wanted to write this reflection during the time of my birthday as a commemoration of things I’ve learned and how I’ve grown over the past year. One could say I’m just a little bit off schedule (my birthday was in May). However, if there’s something I’ve learned about Italian culture it’s that lateness is…subjective.
I’ve started to embrace Italian Standard Time which pretty much means that, as long as you show up at some point, you’re not late. In this case, as long as my reflection is written at some point, technically it’s not late, right?
All jokes aside, I’ve been reflecting on the many changes over the past year. There are many obvious changes like moving out of the country (twice), learning an entirely new culture and language, meeting new people and worldviews, in addition to navigating the loss of a parent and learning to manage symptoms of C-PTSD.
What isn’t so apparent are the inner shifts that have taken place. Despite the massive external changes I have undergone, I believe the changes that have surpassed crossing the ocean are the shifts that have taken place within me.
For the first time in my life, I truly belong to myself.
I didn’t even know this was what I had been searching for all along, until I felt it inside. A feeling of wholeness. It felt like a sacred return to a place I didn’t know existed. Yet, at the same time, it felt strangely familiar. I came to this unveiling truth: We do not heal because we are broken. We heal because we have forgotten that we are already whole.
Wholeness isn’t earned.
Wholeness isn’t something we become.
Wholeness cannot be taken away.
Wholeness is remembered.
It is reclaimed.
It is a sacred return.
A return to love. A return to presence. A return to the aliveness that is within each one of us.
I realized that healing isn’t something we obtain; it’s not a landing spot in the distant future. No, it is right here. It is a state of presence. It is the practice of embodiment. It’s integrating ourselves with the divinity within. This is what it means to return to our natural state of wholeness.
What is embodiment?
The tingling energy in your fingertips; the rhythmic cadence of your heartbeat; the ever-continuous flow of your breath. All of these inner workings reveal a much deeper truth: the incredible miracle it is to be alive. This is the felt sense of embodiment. It’s a universal connectedness, one in which we belong to ourselves yet also, to something much greater. This truth makes ordinary simplicities magical and sacred.
Below I will share 2 of my favorite embodiment practices: one for connecting with the earth body, and one for connecting with the “subtle body”, our energetic field.
Earth Body - Connecting with the physical
Embodiment practice #1
Finding Ground: I personally love practicing this exercise seated beneath a tree. I like to imagine I am taking root into the earth below me, while connecting to the stability and energy of the trees.
(Please note the following exercise is modified from the book “The Wakeful Body” by Willa Blythe Baker). Read through the directions first, then do the practice.
Come into a comfortable position, either seated or lying down. Notice the feeling of your body connected to the surface below you. Allow each exhale to invite more ease and relaxation into your body. Inhale ease, exhale ease. Soften. Eyelids are heavy. Jaw, neck, shoulders relaxed. Arms heavy by your side, or resting atop your legs. Feel them getting heavier as you lengthen your exhales. Feel your hips and legs sinking deeper into the ground, as though they are melting into the earth. Complete relaxation of your muscles.
In this state of complete relaxation, can you sense gravity’s pull, not as an idea but as a feeling? Can you feel your body’s natural groundedness and stability? Let all of your attention rest here.
When your mind becomes restless or wanders into thought, let your body’s groundedness draw your mind back, like a magnet. Notice how your body teaches your mind to be stable and still. You might say the body is capable of exerting its own gravitational pull on the mind. Spend 5 minutes in this practice. Take note of how you feel afterward.
Subtle Body: Awakening to the natural vibration of aliveness.
Embodiment practice #2:
Awakening aliveness: This practice can be done anywhere, but I recommend a place where you can connect to nature sounds: by a river, near trees, or another preferred space. Same as above, read through the directions first, then do the practice.
Find a comfortable position. Take a moment to notice your surroundings. Breathe in the aliveness of the world around you. What do you notice? What colors do you see? Now, close your eyes. With your eyes closed, use your senses to “take in” your environment: what do you hear? what is the temperature of the air on your skin? do you sense movement near or far? are there any smells? Allow this internal field of awareness to draw you in to the present moment.
Now rub your hands together vigorously for 10-15 seconds. Feel the heat build in your hands as you stir up this energy inside. After 15 seconds or so, bring your hands together in a prayer position in front of your chest and feel the pulsing vibration within your hands and fingertips. Feel this aliveness.
Stay here until you feel the temperature and pulse in your hands return to their natural state. Then place your hands on top of your legs, palms up or down, however you like. Can you still feel and sense that tingling aliveness in your fingers? Stay here as long as you like.
Open your eyes when you feel ready. Throughout the day, notice if you can sense this tingling sensation in your fingertips. May this remind you of the sacred aliveness within you.
As you continue to practice, you will likely find other ways that you naturally experience embodiment throughout your day as well. On my daily walking commute, I pass by a small field. Each time I see it, I am drawn in to presence and aliveness as I watch the beautiful flow of swaying trees. Each time, this deepens my breath and it feels like coming back home. Nature has a vibratory aliveness that awakens us. An invitation to return.
Wholeness and belonging are never far away. In the deepest parts of our being, wholeness simply awaits us. Each time we return to love, to presence, to the miracle of our aliveness, we return to wholeness. Still, unmoveable, ever abiding.
May you explore the depth of aliveness.
May you belong to yourself.
May you discover, dear one, that you have always been whole.
May you remember.
The sacred return.
The Light Within
I’m super excited to share today’s reflection because I’ve recently become a Certified Somatic Mind-Body Practioner and in today’s topic we’ll be combining one of the ancient principles of yoga, with a somatic meditation to put into daily practice.
Satya is one of the ten tenets of yoga and it stands for “compassionate truthfulness.” The practice of satya is about diving deeper into our inner selves so that we can live from the truth of who we are. Satya teaches us that our inner truths aren’t something to be afraid of or to run away from. They are the guiding arrows to our healing, freedom, and the inner light.
Somatic work allows us to tap into the wisdom of the body and enter a healing state of presence by regulating the nervous system. Through the lens of somatic work, truth isn’t just words or actions; It’s a felt sense. It’s alignment. In this way, we embody truth. By combining the principles of satya with somatic work, we connect with our own inner compass and find our true path.
Below I will share the different components of cultivating satya and how to implement it with a daily 7 minute practice.
Let’s start with an acronym:
Safety
Attunement
Togetherness
Yielding
Acceptance
Safety
Safety is the key and foundation for our inner truths to rise up. We create internal safety through the practice of compassion. Compassion is the attitude through which we approach and turn toward ourselves. It’s a deep presence within. A sacred with-ness.
Compassion says, “hello dear one, I’m here. Let’s be together. Whatever you have to tell me, I’m here to listen and be with you. If you don’t have words, that’s ok. We can sit here in the silence together.”
When we turn towards our pain in this way there’s a sacred shift that takes place. You disarm your own walls. The real you can finally come forward. You break open. You find the deepest truth of who you are beneath all of the layers. Through compassion, your true self will bravely arise.
Attunement
Attunement is what allows you to interpret your inner wisdom. Your body is the medium through which your nervous system, emotions and subconscious speak to you. It is crucial to learn to interpret its cues. Attunement brings presence of mind to what is going on inside in order to understand what your body is telling you. Perhaps you notice a shift in your mood or energy; you may feel tired or sad and don’t know why. This is your invitation to tune in and get curious. Attunement asks: What is my inner wisdom trying to communicate to me?
Check in with your neck, throat, shoulders, chest, and belly. Is there tension? Stiffness? Restriction to your breathing? What sensations do you notice inside you?
When you notice these physical sensations, ask yourself: What thoughts or emotions am I having right now? Is there an emotion attached to the sensation? Create space for the feeling. Just notice what is without needing to problem solve or change it. As you practice this, you will learn to interpret what your body is communicating with you. Creating internal presence allows your nervous system to settle into safety.
Notice the times when you habitually dismiss yourself, your needs, your desires, or your preferences. Instead of dismissing these internal cues, turn your attention deeper inward. Get curious. These inklings are how your inner self is trying to communicate with you. Attune.
Togetherness
Togetherness is about building a relationship with all parts of yourself. Nurturing and caring for these parts allows you to fully integrate them. Togetherness says: Hi dear one, I know you’ve had to navigate scary things on your own before. But this time you don’t have to. You’re not alone. I am here.
As you practice presence, you will come to learn that none of these parts of you were ever anything to be ashamed of; they only ever needed to be held with loving safety.
The next time you notice unkind dialogue in your mind, pause and ask yourself: What does this part need? Is she scared? Ashamed? Lonely? Hold the togetherness. You don’t need fixing. Your emotions don’t need problem solving. They need your presence.
Yield:
Yielding allows us to surrender. It’s exhaling into the experience, rather than suppressing or resisting it. The pain cannot release until it is met fully, so yield to the process. This means letting go of trying to control the pain, trying to change it, fix it, or lesson its intensity.
In the beginning these experiences might feel like a tsunami; your emotions might roar. The longer they’ve been suppressed, the stronger they will feel at first. This is how you know you’re on the right path. It may feel like everything is falling apart. But in reality, you are breaking open.
It will be helpful to have a list of things that help you to process and access safety when the storm does come. Nature, creativity, and connection can be very helpful during these moments. By exploring these inner truths, you discover the wisdom within that will lead you out of the shadows, like a lantern lighting the way. You aren’t losing yourself; you are returning to wholeness.
Acceptance:
Acceptance is built upon trust and surrender. It mends all of our parts together and allows us to be who we are without striving or earning. Acceptance says: Dear one, you do not need to be perfect to be loved. You are loved just as you are.
To truly know this is to experience it as a felt sense. This is a process. Every time you soften when you’re inclined to grip, or slow down when you notice yourself caught up in urgency, or you speak compassionately to yourself instead of criticizing, is a step towards embodying this truth.
Acceptance isn’t just about embracing imperfection. Perhaps even more challenging, it’s about accepting that we are already whole. There was nothing wrong with you to begin with. You were nothing to be fixed. This is often much harder for us to accept. When we see ourselves through the lens of wholeness, we see it in others, too. By doing so, we treat ourselves and others with more reverence. Like an emanating light, it’s a grace that starts within, and permeates outward to those around you.
The practice of satya is a profoundly courageous one. It is beautifully raw and tender. As you deepen your practice your heart softens; you find ease and strength of spirit; you live with the peace of knowing that you are loved just for being you.
Below is a daily practice to start implementing these techniques.
Daily 7 minute practice:
Read through the practice, then begin.
Close your eyes. Place one hand on your belly, one hand on your heart. Sway side to side, like a tree flowing in the wind. This signals inward safety, comfort and connection.
Invite in compassion.
Turn your attention to the centerline of your body: your throat, shoulders, upper chest, belly. Notice any sensations in these areas. Tension in your jaw. Raised shoulders. Restricted breathing. As you exhale, bring the intention of relaxing your body. Take a few moments to feel into the centerline.
This centerline is your core, like the trunk of a tree.
Bring your awareness to your entire body now, the felt sense. What sensations do you notice? Where do you feel them? What emotions or thoughts are connected to these sensations?
Ask yourself:
What do I need in this moment to feel safe?
Attune. Let your inner knowing speak. Continue to notice any sensory feedback, perhaps emerging memories, images, or thoughts.
Spend a few breaths here, holding the togetherness.
Soften your shoulders and your jaw.
Remind yourself you are here to fully accept and embrace whatever comes up.
Gently yield to the process of presence.
It is safe to just be.
Is there anything your body is trying to say to you?
Stay a few moments, with a sense of ease and receptivity.
When your practice feels complete, finish with one full breath, extending your exhale all the way out. Feel free to jot down any notes.
Remember, this is a practice, not a performance. You are not searching for answers, you are creating space for presence. Perhaps nothing will reveal itself in the moment, but by bringing presence to your body this gives your inner wisdom a voice. She will reveal herself when she is ready. Set the intention to stay attuned throughout the day.
May you live in truth. May you lead with compassion. May you return to wholeness. May you know how loved you are.
I choose peace
I choose peace..
in the sacred unknowing
in the sacred resistance
in the sacred change
in the sacred fear
in the sacred joy
in the sacred gratitude
in the sacred impermanence
in the sacred beautiful
in the sacred gift that is
to be alive
I cultivate peace
Where there is resistance, I lean into discomfort and soften
Where there is uncertainty, I trust the unfolding and believe
Where there is discomfort, I welcome her in, like an old wise friend
Where there is doubt, I turn toward fear - curiously, tenderly, bravely
Where there is urgency, I let go and choose presence - this moment, this breath
Where there is anxiety, I release gripping and let all be
I embrace peace
as I listen to the wind, swaying softly among the trees
as I feel the sun, tingling my skin with energy and warmth
as I see the setting sun, changing colors striking and soft
as I touch the earth with my own bare feet
as I smell the air fresh and anew
as I savor the simplicity of this moment - here and now
as I connect to the cadence of this breath
The rhythm of life
What is peace?
Peace is all of those things -
But most of all
She is the quiet, gentle embrace of every ripple and wave and each moment surrendered
May you soften
May you release
May you embrace
May you abide in peace
a soft surrender
healing happens in the soft surrender throughout the day
in the small moments when the mind is inclined to grip or control
but the soul softly whispers
dear one, it is safe to surrender
as the wave is embraced by the arms of Mother Ocean
ebbing, flowing
fluid, free
a reminder
there is no gripping or grasping
where there is peace
a soft surrender
a rhythmic flow
to the quiet wisdom
of stillness below
to control life is to control the ocean
but she was never meant to be contained
she is boundless
she is free
this is where her strength reigns
to master life, is to surrender
a gentle, trusting letting go
to the serenity of the ocean
where daughter Wave returns Home
Sunflowers in Siena + 3 Mindful Moments
Ciao from Firenze! Can you believe it’s already the fourth week of April!? I hope wherever you are spring has sent you warm sunshine and flourishing flowers!
This week I wanted to share a short reflection. I am currently in the process of writing a more involved article which will take a bit more time, but I wanted to pop in and say a quick hello with a little life update and some food for thought to take with you this week!
Let’s get into it!
This past weekend was Easter—La Pasqua. I spent the morning at a beautiful procession at il Duomo with a dear friend, followed by a delicious lunch overlooking Ponte Vecchio and of course…gelato! By the way, my new favorite combination: dark chocolate and espresso. MOUTH WATERING!!! (Sorry, for my US folks, not trying to make you jealous).
Here in Italy, the Monday after easter is also recognized as a holiday—because..why not? It’s called “Pasquetta” or little easter. Pasquetta is about togetherness with friends and family spent out in nature, picnicking, barbecueing, and welcoming the arrival of spring. Basically, it’s just another excuse to continue to enjoy la bella vita. Because I didn’t have school for this holiday—and admittedly, I forgot all of my friends in the US went right back to work—I decided to take a day trip to Siena.
Siena has a very different energy than Firenze which was a nice change of pace for me. I loved the rustic atmosphere. The streets are quaint and it has a very “homey” feeling (other than the fact that when you turn random corners you may come across an ornate Duomo or lively Piazzas. That’s beside the point).
There’s an effortless beauty and simplicity about Tuscan culture—stunning overlooks, sunflower decor, Chianti wine. Siena felt authentic, traditional, full of quality products… and of course the warm, welcoming feeling that Italians are known for. Like a hug for the soul!
This trip reminded me just how important it is to change up routine from time to time and pursue new experiences. It brings adventure and excitement and new connections with people I wouldn’t otherwise meet. This is applicable no matter where you live — trying out a new restaurant or park or reaching out to an “acquaintance” to get to know them better. New experiences expand our life. I learn this more and more everyday.
That said, I’ve also been pursuing some other professional goals and new certifications. I have some exciting plans for what I hope to do with my website here. Which…might include a…newsletter!? That’s the goal.
The more I continue to learn yogic philosophy, the healing wisdom of nervous system regulation, and different mindfulness practices (foreshadowing: stay tuned for the next post!!!), the more I realize just how important it is to share this knowledge with others. It’s just too life-changing to keep to myself!
That said, let’s get into today’s quick reflection!
Lately I’ve been focusing my energy on my daily intentions and habits. I’d call it an inward inventory and I’ve found it really fosters more self-awareness around the habits and behaviors that feed me and the ones that don’t nourish my inner-light.
Below are 3 different practices that will take less than 7 minutes daily. In honor of spring, this will continue the process of “spring cleaning” — which, to me, are habits that ignite radiance and energy (more on that in this article: Cultivating Inner Spring: The Garden of Your Soul).
The first 2 practices are intended to be done in the morning.
Practice #1: Breath of Joy
This practice is playful and energizes the body. Read through the directions and then try it yourself! I recommend doing it in the morning or whenever you need a mood or energy boost.
Come to a standing position with your feet hip width apart
On an inhale, reach your arms up to the sky
As you exhale, bend your knees slightly and lower your chest to your thighs, simultaneously swinging your arms behind you
As you inhale, bend your knees a little bit more into a mini squat (chair pose) and reach your arms back up
As you exhale, keep your arms up and lower your squat another inch or so
On your next inhale, repeat the sequence, starting with straightening your legs and extending energy through your arms and fingers, like you’re ready to launch!
Repeat 3 to 5 cycles, each time building more energy: think expansion
This is my personal variation of breath of joy because I find it to be a bit more dynamic and playful. If you’d like a slightly different variation, I’ll link another option too. As you might notice, this video does not include squats. (I guess there’s always a part of me that will be a trainer at heart!): Breath of Joy.
Practice #2: Morning Inventory
Healing happens when self-compassion meets self-awareness.
Take a few moments to write out how you’re feeling: mood, energy, and any thoughts or stressors on your mind. This practice helps to compassionately bring thought patterns that might not be so helpful to your awareness, and then releases them out of your brain and body and on to paper.
Today I’m feeling…* (see note below)
My energy is…* (see note below)
Right now what’s on my mind…
From here, place your hands on your heart. Take a few breaths, and ask yourself: what do I need today to support my well-being? Let your heart speak and guide the way.
From this place of awareness, choose one thing you can do today to honor that need. For me this often means sacred rest practices like Yoga Nidra in the afternoon; or taking more time to journal and reflect. Listen to what you need.
*Feeling index:
Be specific. Below is an index of feelings that can help pinpoint different emotions:
Joyful: content, inspired, excited, cheerful, enchanted, grateful
Sad: disappointed, disheartened, empty, numb
Love: accepting, calm, centered, open
Fear: worried, triggered, paralyzed by thoughts
Shame: inadequate, self-conscious, regretful, unworthy
Anger: agitated, annoyed, envious
Stressed: burnt out, depleted, overwhelmed
Alive: vibrant, whole, free, aligned
*Energy index:
Be descriptive. Your energy is more than just physical. It’s mental, emotional and spiritual as well. Below is a word index to help:
Achy, buzzy, blocked, constricted, tense, trapped, tingling, scattered,
Flowing, light, radiating, spacious, alive, awake, expanded, tender
Practice 3: Sunday Stillness
This practice is about boosting the feel good moments each week. Choose one day per week to do this practice.
Ask yourself the following 2 questions:
What felt good this week? How can I prioritize recreating those moments this upcoming week?
(This inventory can range from the people you connected with, how you spent your time, the foods you ate, how you engaged your mind, what you read, etc.)
What were some things that didn’t feel so great? How can I minimize those things this week?
Of course there are situations and scenarios outside of our control, however we can minimize what we focus our thoughts on and we do have control over our behaviors and where we place our energy. This inventory includes anything that increased stress and anxiety, felt depleting, anything that didn’t boost your energy (food, people, thoughts, behaviors).
As someone who tends to be a bit perfectionistic…I have found liberating to focus my energy on my overall habits and how I do things, rather than every micro-moment each day. It’s better to eat Oreos with mindfulness and presence, than it is to scarf down a salad while reading the news. The things we do to nourish our nervous system will have a powerful impact on our physical, mental, and emotional well-being.
More radiance.
More aliveness.
More peace.
I hope you find these practices helpful! I’m excited to share more knowledge on the areas I’ve been focusing my professional development on with you soon!
Sending love and serenity,
Colleen
Embracing Restlessness: A 5 Minute Meditation
Whenever I tell people I teach meditation, the first thing I hear is “Oh, I cannot meditate. My mind goes everywhere!”
I love this answer because within this exact response is the practice.
What gets in the way of our meditation practice is not that our minds think - that’s what the mind does! What gets in the way of our meditation practice is believing that our mind is supposed to stop thinking. There is a difference between having a meditative focus—the mind of a monk—and having no thoughts. The difference is the meditative focus is trained by the practice of working with the inner workings of the mind, not fighting it. The beautiful truth is that, the more distracted you are, the more opportunity you have to strengthen your internal awareness. This is how the meditative focus is trained.
The truth is, sitting with the restlessness can be very uncomfortable.
It’s why we struggle to let ourselves rest before our to-do list is completed.
It’s why we struggle to rest even when our body is tired.
It’s why we struggle to fall asleep at night even after a long day.
It’s why we struggle to sit in meditation when the mind has nothing to grasp except itself.
The restlessness continues to build up, up and up…and we experience this in the mind and body as a need to be doing something; we experience it in our body aches and muscle tension; in our cravings (both physical and emotional), and discontentment. You see, all of these things are simply distractions rippling in the ocean of your mind.
Restlessness is merely a distraction.
But it is also an invitation.
Because if there is restlessness, there is also restfulness.
If we learn to embrace the discomfort—rather than avoid or resist it—something magical happens…it slowly, softly, gently…loosens its grip. In this quiet surrender and gentle embrace we discover true restfulness.
However, in order to practice in a way that isn’t harmful—yes, you read that right—we cannot push through or strain our way through meditation. Fighting your mind is counterproductive. This only reinforces the energy and agitation of the mind.
Discipline, yes.
Commitment, yes.
But above all:
gentleness
curiosity
compassion
Without these things—gentleness, curiosity, compassion— your restlessness will remain restless. Your inner-tensions will remain tense. Your turbulence will remain turbulent. These are all manifestations of the same thing.
So the question isn’t: How do I get my mind to stop thinking?
The question is: What is my restlessness distracting me from?
Only you can answer this, dear one.
The answer is inside you.
So, with that said, let’s practice together:
Embracing Restlessness
A 5 Minute (or less) Meditation:
Hello restlessness, I see you, and I welcome you in to today’s practice however you show up. We will sit together and get to know each other.
Find a comfortable position.
Sway side to side, feeling the weight of your body shift left to right.
Then come to stillness.
Feel your sit bones on the surface beneath you.
Lengthen your spine. Grow tall, like a tree.
Notice the sturdiness of the ground below you.
Relax your forehead and jaw.
Release your neck and shoulders.
Let your arms fall heavy by your side.
Soften.
Bring your awareness to the sensations in your body.
Notice the temperature of the air on your skin or the material of your clothes.
Feel your breath coming into and out of your body.
Sense your own heartbeat—perhaps you can feel its pulse in your chest or finger tips.
Every heartbeat, a precious reminder that you are alive.
Rest here in the awareness of your internal landscape.
Inhale, exhale.
Choose one sensation to focus on in your body: your breath, the air on your skin, your heartbeat, your sit bones on the ground, etc.
This is your anchor.
Rest in silence here.
Notice.
Observe any restlessness.
Is there an inclination to scratch an itch?
Are there feelings of boredom, craving or emptiness, desire or discontentment?
Without a need to change or resist the movement of your mind, gently, curiously observe.
Welcome it all in.
Let it sit with you.
Embrace it with care.
Stay in the discomfort, the sensation, the inclination to change or fix anything for 1 breath, 2, maybe 3.
No forcing.
No need to fight your mind.
If you can remain in the restlessness for 10 seconds - that is all you need.
If you sense strain internally, that is your invitation to finish the practice.
Your mind and body have done what they need to do.
Take a moment to thank your restlessness for visiting you. Your restlessness is the path. With commitment and patience, this practice will lead to the serenity of your inner-being. Here you will discover a deep abiding restfulness within you.
One breath at a time.
When you’ve finished the practice take note of the ways that restlessness showed up in your practice. For me this usually shows up as: planning my day (or the next week), thinking of the 7 people I still need to respond to by text, suddenly realizing my head and elbow are itchy and I certainly can’t forget to write down bananas on my grocery list. God forbid I forget the bananas!
As you can see, these thoughts are quite automatic, but also not very important. They do not need to be acted upon or responded to immediately. And that is the practice. Learning the art of fully completing one thing before rushing off to the next thing is the essence of living in restfulness.
The practice is not fancy or glamourous. It is something far more profound than that. When we embrace our restlessness, we also embrace our fears, uncertainty, vulnerability, and sadness. And also? We embrace our wholeness, and discover the light and serenity and restfulness beneath it all.
Try starting each day with this practice. Return to it next time you feel unfocused, ungrounded, or in need of a reset.
May you embrace the restlessness.
May you embrace the uncertainty.
May you embrace the discomfort.
And may you find true rest in the serenity of your wholeness.
Cultivating Your Inner Spring - The Garden of Your Soul
Ciao from Firenze! Spring has officially arrived here! I hope wherever you are the sun has found its way to you, too!
The blossoming flowers, the sound of birds greeting the morning sun, the smell of fresh earth as the grass replaces snow brings a lovely feeling of aliveness and renewal! As we transition into this new season, we are also invited to cultivate our own inner-blossoming.
Many people start their “spring clean up” by tidying accumulated clutter or digging out garden supplies. While this is beneficial, I believe spring has so much more to offer when we shift our energy towards cultivating an inner-spring clean up. Tending to our mind and heart like a garden allows us to blossom too, just like the flowers. Although I am not exactly known for my “green thumb” (ask any of my friends - I have been known to overwater my succulents!), luckily this gardening process doesn’t require any such skill. Phew! So, with that being said, below are the “gardening tools” you’ll need to plant the seeds of your own inner-garden. Are you ready to flourish?
There are 3 steps to the process:
1. Planting the seeds you want to grow (i.e. self-compassion, self-acceptance, self-trust)
2. Removing the weeds that are standing in the way (i.e. self-judgment, self-abandonment, self-doubt)
3. Tending the soil by nourishing your seeds (redirecting negativity with a truth statement).
Let’s get started!
1. Planting seeds.
The beautiful part is that you already have the seeds of everything you’d like to cultivate inside of you: kindness, joy, peace, serenity, compassion, love. Yet, sometimes these things get buried beneath our self-doubt, worry, or feelings of unworthiness. But you are the gardener of your own life; you can choose what you grow! These seeds merely need your attention, care and nurturing. So let’s get started on choosing what you want to nurture and grow. Below is a short exercise to help you choose your seeds:
Planting Seeds Meditation
Place one hand on your belly, another hand on your heart
Close your eyes
Inhale through your nose, and exhale through your mouth letting out a sigh.
As you exhale relax your shoulders and jaw.
Repeat 2-3 times and then ask yourself: what would I like to cultivate within myself? What needs tending inside?
When you soften and release your body, your heart will have space to speak up and it will guide you.
The answers are always inside.
Take a few moments for your answers to rise to your awareness.
These are your seeds.
Write down the seeds you’d like to cultivate, for example:
1. Self-compassion
2. Self-acceptance
3. Self-trust
Keep this list nearby; we will refer back to it soon!
2. Removing weeds.
Ok, now it is time to do some weeding. Your weeds are anything that prevent your seeds from blossoming. If the weeds start to overgrow, there is no room for the beautiful flowers to flourish in all their color and brightness. So what does this look like as it pertains to our own inner-garden? Perhaps you notice that you speak unkindly to yourself throughout the day; the weed of self-judgment is likely getting in the way of the seed of self-compassion. So in this step, you will identify what those weeds are for you so you can start removing the things that are no longing serving you. Your garden will reflect what you water—your seeds or your weeds.
Ask yourself: what weeds are growing in my garden? Are my thoughts and words kind to myself and others? Am I patient with myself and others? Are there negative beliefs I have about myself that I need to let go of? Write these down.
The weeds to remove might look like:
1. Self-judgment
2. Perfectionism
3. Self-doubt
The beautiful part is that, when we tend to the seeds within and remove the weeds, we naturally start to extend that same kindness, goodness, and compassion to all of those around us. In this way, each one of us has so much beauty to offer the world. Now let’s get into the final step to make sure our garden is well-nourished. (PS the good news is there’s no such thing as over-watering your seeds—unlike my succulents). Let’s start tending the soil!
3. Tending the soil.
In order for our seeds to take root and prosper, we must tend to the soil. We will do this with a truth statement. This will become your rebuttal anytime you notice that your thoughts, energy, or behaviors are watering the weeds. Think of this step as watering your seeds with kindness and love.
Everyone’s truth statement will be different. Choose one that resonates with you, one that you actually believe. It has to feel true for you in order for it to be helpful. This mantra strengthens what your seed needs in order to grow, while at the same time weakens the weed that is not serving the garden.
So let’s choose your truth statement! Refer back to one of the seeds you want to cultivate. Now choose a phrase that will help nourish that seed. For example, if your seed is self-compassion, your statement might be something like:
I am worthy of compassion and love. Inhale compassion, exhale judgment.
Or, if you choose the seed of self-acceptance, perhaps your statement could be:
I do not need to be perfect. I am lovable as I am. Inhale acceptance, exhale perfection.
Choose a statement that is true for you, and use it with your breath as shown in the examples above. This not only helps nourish your mind with truth, but also allows you to experience this practice in a felt sense through your breath—plants need oxygen too!
Now you have all of the “gardening tools” you need and you are well on your way to cultivating your own beautiful inner-spring Let’s put everything together in an easy format for your daily practice so that it is both simple and sustainable.
Daily 5 Minute Practice to Cultivating Your Inner Garden
Step 1:
Start each morning with the “Planting Seeds Meditation” to identify which seed you want to tend to that day. After choosing your seed, identify your weed. Next, create your truth statement and repeat it 3 times. This will start your day off in a way that mindfully nourishes the beautiful seeds within you!
Step 2:
Write your seed + weed + truth statement on a sticky note and place it in a few different locations that you’ll see throughout the day: your purse, car, bathroom, office, etc.
For example, your sticky note might look like:
Seed: Self-compassion
Weed: Self-judgment
Truth statement: I am worthy of compassion and love. Inhale compassion, exhale judgment.
Step 3:
Set designated times throughout your day as a checkpoint to bring awareness to your thoughts and notice what you’re watering. You can use an alarm to go off at certain times in the day, too. Use this as a reminder to re-state your truth statement. For example, before lunch, another in the afternoon, and again in the evening before you have dinner.
Remember, all of the seeds you are cultivating are already within you. You are merely tending the soil, and giving each one what it needs to blossom beautifully.
May you cultivate the seeds of love and compassion.
May you tend to the goodness inside you.
May you nourish your soil with kindness.
And may your own inner-garden flourish with the beauty that is you.
Buona Primavera - Happy Spring!
Ciao, Firenze!
Well, well, well, another life update!
You read it right! I have officially returned to my beautiful italia with a 6 month student visa. This time I will be studying in the iconic Firenze—Home of il Duomo, Ponte Vecchio, The Statue of David—and now mine, too? It’s incredible to think just how much my life has changed from two weeks ago!
As I write this I’m sitting in the garden just outside my apartment listening to the birds chirp, welcoming the arrival of spring. Each morning begins here. The day gently greets me with cool, fresh air as I breathe deeply. Feet on the earth, birds in the trees, air in my lungs. The cloudy skies of New York have been replaced by the warmth of the Tuscan sun kissing my skin.
My daily interactions are filled with the charm and friendliness of the Italian people and the culture. Perhaps my greatest feat is that I, too, have been mistaken by the Italians themselves as being a native! Until I open my mouth…LOL. Apparently my pronunciation—or perhaps my American accent—is a dead give away. Not to mention a few misspoken words. Apparently there’s more than one word for “bag” in Italian, so just as I thought I could confidently predict what the cashier would offer me at the counter—"una busta”—I learned there’s yet a different word for the same thing: un sacchetto. Oops. And also while we’re at it. In case you’re wondering where on earth the eggs are, I’ll save you ten minutes of time going back and forth around the milk and cheese: they are NOT in the refrigerated section! Quite often eggs can be found in the aisle with coffee or almond milk, sometimes near cereals and granola. Honestly, classic Italian style—each grocery store places them in different sections, just not in the refrigerated area. Take it from me, the americana, and I’ll save you time, confusion, and embarrassment!
My strolls along the streets have led me to stands filled with fresh fruits and vegetables…the vibrant colors look like candy from the earth (and, might I add…for a fraction of the price that I’m used to). My favorite finds have been strawberries, Sicilian oranges, avocado, and obviously the pomodori—NOTHING beats an Italian tomato.
My usual afternoon snack of yogurt was replaced by my favorite chocolate gelato. The creaminess, the richness, the depth of flavor… it’s not an exaggeration to say that each savored bite really is life-changing. No wonder Italians are known for enjoying the simple things…who wouldn’t when you’re amongst some of the world’s best food and scenery! Just yesterday I ate my lunch along the Arno River on a ledge near Ponte Vecchio as I watched people stroll by: students, locals, visitors alike. Some of the world’s greatest historical landmarks have become a part of my…daily norm?
Since I was a little girl, I carried an innate pride for my Italian heritage—just ask any of my friends! It was as instinctive to me as it is to eat. Perhaps it was the Italian charm of my dad—he had an unforgettable twinkle in his eyes—or his grand gestures when he spoke passionately or perhaps the mere fact that my beloved italia always felt like the place I belonged, even before ever visiting. As I sit here in gratitude and reflection, I still can’t believe it I get to call this place my home. At the same time, I couldn’t imagine anything different. Life just fits me here, like a glove.
And while I share my most recent update and the pursuit of my dreams, I remind myself daily that I did not, and could not, do this on my own. For this, I am humbly grateful. And I see it as a responsibility, too. I hope as I share my experiences, you not only get a taste of la dolce vita, but also discover your own inner awakening to answer the call of your dreams. Yes, your dreams are your own inner truth, beckoning you. Following that spark—that’s where the magic happens. This place of true aliveness is the life we were meant to live.
May you have the courage to dream big. Then dream bigger.
May you have the courage to believe in yourself. Then follow your heart.
May you have the courage to discover your inner truth. And then live it.
And may you always remember the magic is, and always has been, in you.