I open the cupboard. The smell of coffee immediately reaches my nostrils. I grab the bag of coffee grounds. The aroma is rich and indulgent.
I fill the bottom chamber of my moka pot with water, careful not to overfill. Just enough.
With my small little espresso spoon, I fill the filter basket with coffee grounds, just over the brim to ensure the flavor is strong and all-consuming. Just how I like it.
I screw the top and bottom chambers, putting it all together like a puzzle.
Click, click, click.
The stove flickers.
Flame.
I carefully place my moka pot in the center.
I don’t walk away. I stand there. I feel my feet on the ground. I feel the excitement and joy surge as I imagine the taste of my Italian espresso just minutes away from reaching my lips.
Every morning is the first espresso of my life.
I wait to hear the sound of coffee bubbling out of the funnel.
I lift the lid just in case it has already started cascading out without my noticing. Not yet. I close it shut again.
Then the moment comes. I hear the coffee bubble. I let it rise almost to the top, then turn off the heat. I wait just another moment to let it settle.
Pot in hand, I pour the steaming goodness into my ceramic tazzina.
I step outside to my balcony overlooking the Italian terrace.
The cool air greets my skin with freshness, awakening my energy and my senses. Each breath filling my lungs with the precious gift of another morning.
Small sip. Each one savored.
I feel a deep sense of solitude and connectedness all at once as I listen to the sound of Rome waking up.
This, to me, is living deeply.
And once again, I learn:
Life, truly, is meditation.
The Heartbeat of Life: A Morning Reflection
Before the day begins.
Morning stillness.
A quiet moment.
Hazy sky.
Sounds of motors swoosh in the distance.
Rain drips off the trees.
Pitter patter.
The weight of the mug
In my hand
Swirling steam rises.
Warm tea.
Trickling down my belly.
Earl gray.
Silence.
Breath.
Peace.
In these moments.
Life is simply beating.
The simplicity becomes precious
The ordinary reveals itself to be perfectly enough.
The sun shines everyday.
Yet that doesn’t lesson its blessing.
In fact, it multiplies the gift.
Because every day
No matter what
Even in the rain
The sun remains the same.
She still rises.
A reminder
The ordinary things that happen everyday aren’t ordinary after all.
The heartbeat of life.
Our breath, every feeling, each smile
Our heartbeat, every tear, each sunrise
Our life, every day, each moment
Are the sacred things that sustain us…
And give us life.
And that is nothing short of extraordinary.
Perfectly enough.
27 things.
Below are 27 reflections in honor of 27 trips around the sun! I hope these inspire you to live with more intentionality and mindfulness as they have for me!
1. Prioritize slowing down. Honor the rhythm of your soul.
2. Notice the “moments of joy” woven throughout each day. Simplicity is joy!
3. Step into the unknown. Take the leap. Live boldly.
4. Healing is a choice. It begins by listening to your body.
5. Choose vulnerability over fear. Allow yourself to be seen.
6. Cultivate and savor “dolce moments.” Froth the milk in your coffee. Use loose leaf tea. Quality. La dolce vita.
7. Follow your inner voice. Always.
8. Know your core values. Re-evaluate them often. Don’t be afraid to let them shift throughout different seasons and being open to new ways of thinking.
9. Speak the truth. Even if your voice shakes.
10. Lie under a tree. It can give you a new, refreshing lens to see through.
11. Listen to your favorite song everyday.
12. Notice where your feet are. Be fully there.
13. Be a student to the wisdom of nature. What is she revealing to you today?
14. Eat your favorite foods. Choose quality. Savor each bite!
15. Trust the unfolding and unraveling of life (I know it’s hard!). You will discover what is truly meant for you: unexpected opportunities and beautiful destinations.
16. Let go of structure and routine every once in awhile. Flexibility of mind creates new rhtymns.
17. Seek out as many local cafes as possible. Befriend the barista!
18. Remind yourself: you are not your thoughts and you are not defined by your struggles. Your strength and resilience are forged in these depths.
19. Embrace ease. Inhale deeply, exhale slowly. This creates space to feel.
20. Write down your dreams. Honor their importance. Believe in your ability to make them happen.
21. Soften and surrender. Tenderness is strength.
22. Let go of striving. Know your tendencies that lead to strain. Be intentional about where you spend your time and what you put your energy towards.
23. Prioritize stillness everyday. Reflect inward. Be intentional with your time and energy.
24. Cultivate your creativity.
25. Pay attention to when you feel your freest. Follow it. This is where the magic happens!.
26. Celebrate your strengths and be compassionate toward your limitations. Self acceptance creates inner peace.
27. Move to Italy ;)
The Wisdom of Simplicity: an invitation to slow down
The soul often knows where it needs to go in order to restore. I recently had the opportunity to go to the countryside (la campagna) in Italy. I felt pulled to la campagna not only to experience more authentic interactions with the locals, but also because its been a really challenging life season for me.
The picture above was captured in one of the small villages of Umbria called Orvieto. Whilst I saw the most epic mountains and dramatic beauty throughout the trip, it was the simplicity and peacefulness of Orvieto that captured my heart the most. It evoked a gentle hush of my mind and spirit as the nature awakened my senses.
In Umbria, the air envelops you. The gentle breeze breathes you in. There was something humbling, yet so deeply moving, about the tranquility of this place. From the vast spaciousness of the wide open fields—with the contrast of the many hues of green painted in the hills and trees and mountains—to the sound of birds chirping in the silence and soaring freely in the sky. The simplicity of the countryside reminded me that the only way to live deeply is by slowing down.
Oftentimes we let these experiences pass us by; in fact, it’s easy to do so. But when we take a moment to admire the beauty around us, we are also invited to draw our attention inward, to observe from that place of deep inner presence. Nature touches on this abiding stillness within each one of us and in these sacred moments life becomes less overwhelming, and it’s replaced with the simplicity of what is truly important. This moment. This breath. There is nothing more important to be doing than to admire the view and let it all sink in. To breathe in the stillness. Truly, this is the remedy for the soul: it revives the spirit, refreshes the heart, and settles the mind.
Whilst escaping to the countryside cannot resolve the challenges I’m currently working through, it reminds me that, when I become still, I connect with the part of me that can overcome any challenge. That deep inner presence is indomitable. Nature teaches us that equilibrium is a balance of both storms and stillness. Isn’t that the same for us? We have the full spectrum of the human experience: both the peaks and valleys. We can take moments of reprieve by visiting dear Mother Nature and she will always whisper her wisdom to us if we but let her. As the wind gently caressed my skin on that hilltop, I heard her whisper: Everything will be ok. She continues to remind me that taking a deep breath and slowing down will always revive new strength and healing even if it doesn’t take away all of the pain. It is only by slowing down, and embracing simplicity, that are we able to experience peace. It reminds me of the quote by Lao Tzu:
”Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”
In addition to the breathtaking views, the richness of Italian culture in the humble hills also inspired me. Their simple approach to life reaffirmed: there’s another way to live that’s not frantically rushed and robotic. Here are a few take aways I learned throughout the trip:
1.Take time for each person:
There was not one interaction where a storekeeper didn’t stop what they were doing to engage with the people around them. Merely walking by a salumi shop I’d be greeted on the streets with a friendly voice: “Want to try some salumi?” they’d offer. Umbria in particular is known for their meat. Every time I went into one of the shops, they wouldn’t just offer me a taste handing me a fresh slice of salumi, they wanted to give it to me. Their resources were their offering, and they were delighted to be generous with it. The locals were never too busy to pass us by. They always engaged with me like it was the most important thing to be doing. They value each interaction and they make sure that you know it. It seems so innate for them, but as an American, it stood out to me.
The takeaway: No matter what you’re doing, stop and take time for each person. Even if it’s the short correspondence with the cashier at the grocery store. Everyone deserves to be acknowledged and each interaction is an opportunity to celebrate one another, just like the Italians do.
2. Take pride in what you do.
Gian Luco, one of the locals I met, owned a shop that sold “prodotti tipici di l’italia” (typical Italian products) made me a sandwich with the best cheese I’ve ever tasted. His business went back 5 generations. He not only loved what he did, but he was proud of the history behind it all and the connection it gave him to the generations that came before. Everything the Italians do is about quality, tradition, and being generous with one’s resources.
Takeaway: Take pride in what you do. Put your heart into your work and put a smile on your face while you do it!
3. Plan in pause throughout the day.
I can attest that every single stereotype I’ve heard regarding Italians seems to be true! I swear their entire life is a party.
They do, indeed, start their morning standing at il bar (their equivalent to a cafe in the US) to enjoy an espresso, most often mingling with those around them. This is their first ritual for joy and it starts first thing in the morning. What a great way to start the day. Oh, I shouldn’t forget the buttery pastry-perfection, their cornetto, that often goes alongside their caffeine kick. Very different from an American standard of health, but if you look at the data, the Italians are much healthier than the average American!
Pause part two: Midday, many restaurants close for hours in order to rejuvenate and prepare their own homemade lunch. Can you imagine not having to count down the hours to your workday because there is already a set time of reprieve woven throughout each day? In addition to the pasta and wine, I think the Italians are on to something! Side note: I swear if there were more than 3 designated meal times, the Italians would, indeed, eat pasta at each one of them (I’m not complaining!).
The last moment of pause is how intentional their dinner ritual (it’s serious business): pasta cooked to perfection, fresh, seasonal and delicious produce, often times a little bit of meat, and of course, il vino. While I consumed enough carbs daily to fuel a marathon, I found each meal to be far more satiating than the ones I rush through back home. I didn’t finish each meal wanting more. The quality of the food, the savoring of each dish coming out one at a time, and the sips of wine between bites, naturally allows one to eat slower. This reinforces truly paying attention to what is in front of you and it feels deeply nourishing for both the mind and body: yet another built in pause.
Take away: Weave in moments of pause throughout each day. Bonus points: start each morning with something that brings joy! Create meals with intention and eat them to savor and satiate. Food isn’t just fuel; it’s a form of meditation, a shared experience with others, an opportunity for gratitude and connection. Honor your meals rather than treating them as a means to an end. You’ll be happier and healthier for it!
I hope these reflections inspire you to cherish the wisdom of simplicity, like they did for me. I hope you take the opportunity to stop, slow down, and admire a beautiful panoramic view. Or perhaps even just a budding flower along the side walk. Your life is worth slowing down for in order to truly live. A reminder to honor each breath as the gift it is. To take moments of pause and to remember that you are only one good plate of pasta away from feeling a little bit better.
Serenity and love,
Colleen
I am the seed: a gentle reminder from spring
Dear Spring,
You have so many things to teach me and I will always be a student to your wisdom. Your gentle simplicity and quiet majesty take my breath away. A message that both hope and growth come from being buried and taking root. A reminder of trust and the courage to keep faith, even when the light is hidden beneath the soil.
To the birdsong - every morning you awaken the world with the sweet melody of spring. Your song fills the air with joy and celebration; harmony and hope.
To the air - fresh and mild, you fill my lungs with earth’s sweet fragrance. Freshness anew in every breath. A reminder to breathe in rhythm with the breath of the wind.
To the blossoming trees and color filled flowers - barren, now blossomed. The reminder that all things blossom in harmony with the season. Even the dullness of barren branches transform to beauty and color. So, too, will my spirit and heart.
To the sun - shyly peaking from behind the clouds. I see you. Your light provides energy and strength, even to the smallest bud taking root. Through rain and clouds, your light prevails even if covered behind the gray - you were always there.
To the rain - your soothing cadence as you gently kiss the earth invite new rhythms in me. An inner quietude. A reminder that growth comes through all conditions and surrendering to each allows all to grow and prosper. To every seed buried underneath, you provide nourishment. No seed is forgotten. Filling the rivers and oceans, earth and soil. Every raindrop, one by one, has great impact.
To the soil - a sacred sanctuary for every seed. A safe place where each one gains the nutrients necessary to grow in its own unique beauty, color, and strength. The magic of the unknown. What will this seed become? Perhaps the soil and darkness feels lonely and scary at times, but this is the home from which all blossom. The home of resilience, courage, and the faith of what is to come. Without the soil, we cannot grow.
Dear Nature -
Thank you for your wisdom.
The wisdom that each element is a necessary contribution for growth to take place. That surrendering to, and harmonizing with the seasons is what brings all beauty to fruition. We need both the soil and solitude, the sun and the rain.
Nature teaches us that often times growth means slowing down and retreating into the soil. For it is in the sacred solitude that each one takes root. To let the rain nourish us knowing the light of the sun will always come back — for she never left to begin with. A reminder that even when we cannot see the sun hidden behind the clouds, or we feel hidden neath the soil, we learn to trust and hope along the way.
For truly, the soil allows us to emerge bravely, beautifully, with resilience and grace.
I am the seed.
And you are too.
Taking root to blossom.
Ask yourself:
In what area(s) of your life do you feel you are taking root?
In what area(s) do you feel things are coming to fruition?
Serenity and Love,
Colleen
Published on Learning Mind!
Hi all! I wanted to share a post of mine that was published on the Learning Mind! It’s always a honor to collaborate with them. This article is about handling challenging emotions with mindfulness and care. Check it out!
Click here!
Sneak peek:
Feelings are a part of the human experience. They’re not something to fix like a broken dishwasher or analyze like a math equation. They’re to be held with curiosity and compassion.
Feelings come as visitors and although some feelings are more pleasant than others, it is important not to push away the harder ones in life. Doesn’t the sweet blossom of spring need a little rain to grow?
Life Lessons From Pasta Making: Art, Quality, Tradition.
I recently returned to Italy with my sister which was a dream come true for me. It had been 14 years since we’d been there together—I was 13 at the time and she was 16. And let me tell you, going to Italy as an adult has a lot of fun bonuses. Did someone say aperol spritz?
I could go on about how meaningful the richness of the culture and warmth of the people just feel like a big hug to the soul, or how the food is so satisfying and enjoyable you wonder if you’ve ever truly eaten before. But if you read anything on Italy, those topics are surely already covered!
My sister and I had 3 main destinations: Rome, Elba island, and Florence. Each one left its special imprint on my heart, but none quite as much as the lessons I took away from the pasta cooking class we did in Florence. So I thought I’d share the top three take aways from the pasta class.
The cooking class was just a few blocks away from Ponte Vecchio. So of course on our way to the class, my sister and I grabbed a Nutella stuffed cornetto and ate it alongside the river overlooking il ponto famoso—the famous bridge! I felt my heart asking over and over again: “Is this truly my life right now?!” After we wiped the Nutella off our lips and missed the turn to our cooking class only to retrace our steps through the narrow streets—i vicoli—we finally made it there (mind you, we were still 4 minutes early).
We walk inside and a small group of 8 people or so are gathered in a room, some on couches, others still standing. There’s a palatable excitement in the room. I look over on the wall and see a sign that says “Dolce far niente” which means “the sweetness of doing nothing.” I’ve already written an article on this Italian philosphy. You can find that article here. On another wall reads a quote that says:
“The most important ingredient is love.”
Class begins. We add an egg to our pre-portioned bowls of flour (1 egg for every 100g of 00 semolina flour) and each start mixing with our hands—just like any Italian nonna does! My sister and I happen to be next to the most wonderful couple who we learned had been married for several decades. As we are rolling out our dough and in-between the guidance from the teacher, we learn that this couple had spent their first week in Italy in the hospital because the wife had an appendicitis. You’d never know this couple had been through such a stressor just a fews days prior to the class. I suppose that’s the power of pasta! This made me think: making pasta isn’t just about the ingredients, it’s about the connection and conversation you have while making it. Although I never got to meet my Italian nonna, it made me think, had I been able to roll out pasta alongside her we’d have the most pleasant and meaningful conversations. Perhaps that’s where so much wisdom is shared amongst friends and family. You don’t just make pasta, you make memories that last.
Class continues. We roll out the dough using a wooden “chitarra” (it looks similar to a guitar) to make fettuccine and a small square stamp-like object to form tortellini. Our hands are covered in flour and our faces covered with smiles. Laughter fills the room like a musical serenade and many share their special connection to Italian culture. After all the dough is carefully formed, we all head to the table while the pasta cooks. When making fresh pasta, it only takes a few minutes to cook once added to a pot of hot water (salted!). We sip our wine as we snack on taralli, a common Italian cracker. Does life get better?
Soon after, the pasta is served. There’s a special bond about preparing a meal together, especially one that has so much history and cultural pride as pasta does. The meal is delicious. As we eat together, I realize there’s an art to making the texture of fresh pasta perfect—not too thick, not too thin, and definitely not gummy. If there’s anything I’ve learned about the Italians—other than their love for good food!—it’s that they are incredibly affirmative and encouraging. Our chef-teacher comes to join us at il tavolo and remarks on the pasta we made being the best he’d have all day (mind you, it was his first and only class of the day. But that’s unnecessary information). Class finishes and in full Italian style we all hug each other goodbye. No longer strangers, but famiglia.
As I reflected after the class, I realized why the experience felt so meaningful. As I’d read on the wall: “The most important ingredient is love”, I realized more deeply what that meant. For Italians, pasta is an art. It’s about quality. They take pride not only in the making of it, but the history and method behind making it. Truly, it’s full of tradition that dates back hundreds of years. Each shape of pasta is paired properly with a different sauce which is carefully paired with a complementary wine.
I believe if we all crafted our lives with the same attention and care as Italians make pasta, our lives would change drastically! What better way to live than to focus on creating our lives artfully, focusing on the quality of the things that surround us (quality of relationships, our habits, nourishment, emotional wellbeing, etc) and connecting with the roots that make us who we are?
I hope this helps you feel the warmth and coziness of remembering your own family traditions. And perhaps you can embrace and gain inspiration from the delight of Italian culture by making yourself a big pot of pasta! Buon appetito!
Lessons from La Dolce Vita: How it changed my relationship to food and living.
Photo: Riomaggiore, Italy
I recently had the opportunity of traveling to my favorite country of all time — Italia! Truly, it was a dream come true to return back for the first time in 14 years, this time as an adult. Now there are countless reasons why so many people love Italy—I mean, come on, pasta and gelato everyday? Sign me up!
And while, yes, the food is a huge draw to the country and richness of their culture, I think it goes far deeper than that. As Americans we are driven by filled schedules, multiple letters after our name, endless striving, and truthfully, a fear of actually living life. We are so busy bustling around, I think we’ve forgotten the art of what a truly meaningful life consists of. I touched upon this more in my previous article “The Italian Art of Leisure and Joy”, but I believe there’s still more to it.
I approached my trip with two intentions in mind: to fully embrace la dolce vita (the sweet life) and embody dolce far niente (the sweetness of doing nothing). I had a vision of what that would look like: let’s see, start the day with a cornetto and espresso seated outside il bar, then wander along the beautiful, colorful streets along the coast, speaking to the locals whenever possible, and fully embracing all that the culture has to teach me. Oh, and end the night with gelato, perfetto!
Like any “perfect plan” that is set in motion, things didn’t quite go as planned, but I can truthfully say I immersed myself in the culture and soaked in every possibility to its fullest! (Although I didn’t leave the country with a job offer at il ristorante, I did make a few connections that could potentially get me a job… I think?). I wasn’t quite sure what fully encompassed la dolce vita and dolce far niente and as a recovering striver, I wasn’t sure how I’d respond to releasing complete control of my routine, my environment, my schedule.
I think that’s where the sweetness came in. I allowed myself to live so differently from what I’m used to. I barely ate a vegetable in 10 whole days. I never lifted a weight. I didn’t even see a gym! So many of the things that give me structure weren't there. And leaning into what the culture did have truly left an imprint on me. I’d like to share those take-aways with you, as they have changed the way I look at my own everyday living and inspired me to honor my life—and joy and serenity—through the lens of la dolce vita.
Here are 5 lessons I learned to live out la dolce vita:
1. Everyone is family. All of the stereotypes about Italian friendliness is true. The way they embraced my friends and me as though we were their family (rather than bustled and jostled around travelers) made us feel so welcomed, so embraced— a sense of belonging. They treat everyone as if they are at Sunday supper! This truly was one of the best experiences of the entire trip for me. It’s all about connection.
2. Simple routine. There is nothing quite as simple, yet sweet, as the daily routine al bar (which in Italy is equivalent to our cafes): seeing the same, welcoming barista every morning, being greeted with a friendly buon giorno!, and sipping the first few moments of the day (and espresso) overlooking the water. The Italians have their own type of routine: espresso by morning, pasta by evening. Repeat. Let me tell you, I can get behind that! Italians aren’t afraid to enjoy life. Their daily routines are important to them and they make it count, too. It’s enjoyable, leisurely, and based around community.
3. Fresh, fresh, fresh. I can still taste the tomato sauce on my lips as I call to mind the margarita pizza I had in Riomaggiare (one of the five towns in Cinque Terre). I swear the tomato was taken off the vine earlier that day. It was the freshest sauce I’ve ever had. I have never felt freer than when eating the fresh food in Italy. Everything digested so well despite eating all of the foods that America attaches so much judgment towards. The Italians know how to savor and they make even the simplest ingredients taste like it was made for royalty!
4. Walk, walk, walk. Let me tell you, I didn’t miss the gym. 380 zig-zagging steps from the bottom of the train station to the top of Corniglia where we stayed…I LOVED IT! Walking was a huge part of everyday living. I loved how it was effortlessly woven into each day. Whether it was walking to the train station, or through the different towns, or even walking to get dinner or gelato. It was such a pleasant, delightful, and functional form of everyday transportation. Not to mention, it helps with digestion and allows you to enjoy the panoramic views!
5. Enjoyment is a priority. Whether it’s dining around the table or walking through a piazza and stumbling across a celebration in the streets with free lemon cake and live music (true story), Italians know how to live! Eating pasta isn’t a source of shame or equated with “breaking the diet” the way it is in the US. Perhaps the most beautiful and priceless gift of all that Italy taught me is to loosen my grip on what “healthy” is. A healthy outlook, a free mind and spirit, less stress and striving, is better than 10 servings of fruits and vegetables everyday. Life can only be truly savored when you allow yourself to enjoy the little things!
I’ve reflected on how I can bring the la dolce vita approach to my own life. Ambiance is important. Working outside under a park bench is lovely, bringing a homemade espresso to enjoy alongside is living. As I continue to deepen my understanding of the culture, I’m sure I’ll continue to be inspired by the Italians’ sweet, simple way of life. I hope these 5 lessons help inspire you to deepen your appreciation of the simple, sweetness of life. And I hope that if you’ve not yet traveled to Italy, you do so. May it awaken a joy and feeling of abundance in your heart, the way it continues to do to mine!
The Italian Art of Leisure and Joy: Dolce Far Niente
I am seated on a park bench. The trees sway in the wind. The squirrels ruffle in the grass. The birds sing from the treetops. It feels as though I am in a real life painting. A deep sense of contentment and restfulness wash over me as the breeze brushes across my skin. These moments of reprieve I call “empty spaces.”
This feeling, so serene, made me realize how nourished I feel when I take time for those moments of stillness. I found myself reflecting upon those moments of empty space hidden throughout each day and how necessary they are for me in order to feel clear headed. Those moments where I typically reach for my phone while I’m in line at the grocery store or as I wait to meet up with a friend. However, those are micro moments that can be used as mini meditation reboots, to come back to myself, to notice life’s inherent beauty, to simply notice what’s around me. Pockets of peace, a landing spot each day, an opportunity for mindfulness to re-establish a sense of presence and participation in my own life.
Yesterday, I had an afternoon free of any obligations, commitments, and must-do chores. I cannot remember the last time I had that open space in my day. I found myself thinking: “How can I optimize this time most productively?” I started thinking of errands I could do to get ahead, chores I could get done, people I could reach out to. My inclination was “how can I fill the empty space?” I was taken aback by how instinctive it was for me to try and fill that open gap in my day.
Counterintuitively, I chose not to fill the empty space. Instead, I chose to be fully present, and let the empty space remain just that. I leaned into this opportunity for leisure and rest which is harder than it seems. I laid on a park bench and let the sun gaze upon my face. I looked up at the trees and enjoyed their serene presence. I smiled as I watched the wind gently sway the branches and dance with the leaves amidst the treetops.
I practiced presence.
I felt like I was reconnecting with my soul’s energy charging system: mindfulness, nature, and stillness.
It made me think of an Italian phrase I recently came upon that describes this so simply, yet poignantly:
Dolce far niente.
It means the sweetness, the joy, the pleasure of doing nothing. How beautiful is that? How would our lives and inner world transform if we allowed ourselves this room for leisure and simplicity? Allowing empty spaces to be empty spaces, whether it’s five minutes between meetings or a glorious 2 hours on a Sunday afternoon?
Empty spaces are a landing place to admire the view of life, to come back home to ourselves, to feel our breath, much like a landing place while on a hike. A moment of reprieve. We find that those moments to catch our breath—both figuratively and literally—are truly necessary in order to keep up with life and enjoy the view.
I gently urge you to notice these empty spaces throughout your day and simply allow them to be just that. A gift to honor life’s ordinary sacredness. A practice of presence. An opportunity to leave empty, not filling it with busyness, distraction, and unnecessary obligation.
I understand we all have different time limitations. I understand this is a form of privilege to have the ability for “dolce far niente.” However, I truly believe it is required in order to live a life that doesn’t just pass us by. No matter how much time you have, this is something to be cultivated.
Below are some ideas to practice cultivating those moments of empty space in your life, inspired by the Italian way of dolce far niente:
First ask yourself:
What does rest look like to me? What makes me feel restored?
What comes to mind when I think of living leisurely?
Think of dolce far niente as allowing your mind and soul to feel the joy and contentment we often equate with going on vacation except we are implementing this throughout our ordinary day and week. When we live this way, our actual vacations become an extension of this interior contentment, not an escape from a life that is too demanding, impossibly busy and much too stressful. We don’t want to show up in life as burnt toast.
Everyone is different. For some, true rest is getting into the kitchen and making homemade pasta. For others, it’s reading quietly by a brook surrounded by all of the nature sounds. Take an inventory of your energy needs and go from there.
How to create your own daily dolce far niente experience:
Notice the empty spaces throughout your day. Instead of filling them up with one more thing, take this as a mini meditation reboot. Focus on your breath, look around you, savor what’s in front of you. Or, build a connection with someone next to you in line at the grocery store. Pay them a compliment, an act of kindness. This brings sweetness, joy and pleasure into ordinary moments. That’s what it’s all about!
Be mindful and protect your energy and emotional reserves. If you feel your tank is getting close to empty, that’s a sign that you need to take a step back and recalibrate. Rather than waiting until you’ve crashed and burned, turn to the wisdom of dolce far niente, lean back, and do something leisurely for yourself. If that feels impossible to do, the more important it is that you do it. “Doing nothing” isn’t lazy. It’s called rest. We all need it. Honor it.
Dolce far niente is beautiful to be experienced alone, or in community with others. It’s about true connection, not about the highlight reel. Delete your social media for a day or even a week. Notice how many empty spaces you have in your day without even having to try! Take that extra time to spend intentionally and mindfully. Create space for leisure simplicity, whatever that means for you.
Be mindful of when you check your emails and when you catch up on texts. I often set aside a specific time and set a timer to respond to texts that have accumulated throughout the day. I call these “technology errands” and it helps me to compartmentalize texting throughout the day.
I hope these tips inspire you to seek out the sweetness, joy, and pleasure of leisure simplicity and help create space in your life. May you experience the Italian art of “Dolce far niente.” And hey, while you’re at it, go ahead and make yourself a bowl of pasta and eat it with your full attention! We’ll call it pasta meditation—it very well may be your favorite meditation yet! .
P.S. The picture featured above was taken when I was in Italy in June. It was my favorite dish there: trennete al pesto! Deliziosa!
I'm Published on The Mighty!!!
I’m thrilled to share that one of my previous blogposts (September’s post “Recovery”) has been published on The Mighty! If you’re not familiar with The Mighty, it’s a mental health website that has stories from many different contributors on a wide variety of mental health topics. It ranges from depression and anxiety to chronic illness and autism. As long as those topics aren’t triggering for you, I recommend checking out the website. It can be really eye-opening and informative. Everyone deserves to have a voice and their story shared. I’m honored to have mine a part of their platform. <3
To check out my article, go here: 6 Strategies for Eating Disorder Recovery and Healing
To visit The Mighty’s home page, go here: The Mighty